Monday, June 28, 2010
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Ups and downs
It seems like every time my son leaves my side, or visits a relative, he regresses in his potty training. Incredibly frustrating.
My son went to my moms for a few hours last week, and he wouldn't use the "pot" after that i had to literally keep putting him on there, and leave him bottomless to get him back in the game.
Jahlil spent a weekend at his dads and now he doesn't even want to go in the bathroom.
So he pooped on himself and of course i had to change him. The smell was awful, i believe that if your smelling like a grown man then you need to get "ya body on the potty".
Its ruining my hard work, Jahlil needs to be COMPLETELY potty trained by the end of August. School starts for him early September, and you need to be fully potty trained to go there.
So I'm stuck between a rock and a stinky place.
And of course now I'm going back to work so I'll be spending even less time with Jahlil, and i just dont believe that daycare is pushing using the bathroom, i just dont.
What is a mother to do?
Seriously, what am i to do?
My son went to my moms for a few hours last week, and he wouldn't use the "pot" after that i had to literally keep putting him on there, and leave him bottomless to get him back in the game.
Jahlil spent a weekend at his dads and now he doesn't even want to go in the bathroom.
So he pooped on himself and of course i had to change him. The smell was awful, i believe that if your smelling like a grown man then you need to get "ya body on the potty".
Its ruining my hard work, Jahlil needs to be COMPLETELY potty trained by the end of August. School starts for him early September, and you need to be fully potty trained to go there.
So I'm stuck between a rock and a stinky place.
And of course now I'm going back to work so I'll be spending even less time with Jahlil, and i just dont believe that daycare is pushing using the bathroom, i just dont.
What is a mother to do?
Seriously, what am i to do?
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Pictures Pictures Pictures
Some of the various ways I've beaten my hair into submission, and the damage its caused. Includes weaves, perms, braids, excessive straightening, and of course the good 'ole fried dyed and layed to the side.
it also seems that i think profile shots are when i best catch the light...** New favorite pose???**
Catching Up
OK so my week has been super busy.... and left me ridiculously tired. waking up at 6am and catching various trains,bus trolleys, to far out locations will do that to a girl.
After almost a days rest im feeling normal again. Normal enough to hope on the computer and right type away my random thoughts dreams aspirations whatever you like to call it.I'm currently sitting in the house childless because sometimes i just get nervous and dont feel like being bothered. Jahlil is with his dad until Monday night leaving me free to do all the things i want to do when he's not around. So what am I doing that's so fun, exciting and daring?
ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!!!
Next subject:
I've been thinking about going back to school for a lil bit now, but i wanted to make sure that it was something i was passionate, and willing to put my all into.
I have found something worthy of my time and effort.
I'M GOING TO GO BACK TO SCHOOL FOR NURSING!!!!
it has been said, it has been written now, i just need to make it happen.
My ultimate goal is to become a RN with a BSN, but given that i have a whole mouth to feed, and a household to run, my method of obtaining this goal will be nontraditional.
I'm going to go to school for LPN first because that only takes a year, after i pass the state exam for that. I will work at an agency for one year to gain seniority and also so im eligible for my employer to pay my tuition. After gaining my employers financial backing im going to go Back to college/university to get that coveted BSN.
Next Subject:
I've been thinking about my hair, and what i want to do with it because really right now its a mess and a half.
I've been thinking of just being submissive and getting a perm, and being done with the whole thing. Perms just make things so much easier(sometimes), and it makes the hair straighter to go with this straight weave that i'm so inclined to always buy.
I've also been thinking of just getting a bunch of sew in weaves because it takes my mind of off my own hair, and somehow tricks my mind into thinking i have that texture, grade,length, of hair. Sew Ins are kinda expensive 140, where i go but so worth it. That doesn't include the cost of the hair itself, which can be anywhere from 40, to 120 dollars itself.
THAT'S NOT CHEAP.
and after losing my job earlier this year, im starting to rethink this whole, "spending money like its going out of style" thing. I really want to pay off my credit cards and build up my savings, for other emergency situations. I also want to get a car for easier traveling, and of course convenience.
I was also thinking about braids, but they take forever both ways, and not as cute as other hairstyles.
This is all for now since i lost my train of thought.I've also been thinking of just getting a bunch of sew in weaves because it takes my mind of off my own hair, and somehow tricks my mind into thinking i have that texture, grade,length, of hair. Sew Ins are kinda expensive 140, where i go but so worth it. That doesn't include the cost of the hair itself, which can be anywhere from 40, to 120 dollars itself.
THAT'S NOT CHEAP.
and after losing my job earlier this year, im starting to rethink this whole, "spending money like its going out of style" thing. I really want to pay off my credit cards and build up my savings, for other emergency situations. I also want to get a car for easier traveling, and of course convenience.
I was also thinking about braids, but they take forever both ways, and not as cute as other hairstyles.
Peace and Love
Toye'
Monday, June 14, 2010
Random Ramblings
I dont really know what to blog about today, i just know i want to blog.
Maybe i'll talk about my desire to lose weight and "tone" up. I mean come on.........
My stomach was so damn big when i was carrying my son, but i mean after a month or two i went back to normal.
So why now when my son is working on 3 years being on this planet...is my gut so damn large....
YUCK YUCK YUCK
I'm just not into being a member of the the jiggly belly committee.
I believe my bloated midsection came from working at Nut-ass PNH. because really all i did there was Eat at work 24/7..its not a lot of work to be done
and unless you want to sit down and watch BET all damn day, why your coworkers attempt to have lackluster conversations with you, you walk to the vending machine, and the corner store, and you order out.
The blame is is mine for lacking self control.
So now im going to try to balance out my diet and only eat for nourishment and not just for bored, food lust, or as a social sport. The things that i will eat will also change, hoping to switch in my healthy/grown foods instead of processed junk i've been devouring like its going out of style.
So that is my mid-years resolution: to be more cautious of what i eat, while also increasing activity levels.
Wish me luck
Next Subject: my parenting skills or lack thereof
I love my son, i truly do, but i feel like im not doing him any favors by the inconsistent way that i'm raising him. I'm not talking about no" freaky Friday far-out shit", just the day to do occurrences and my reactions to them.
a FB friend was talking about all the awesome things her 3yr old daughter can do, and im jealous. like she said She knows her full name, her parents name, her phone number...yada yada bull shit. and then she posted a letter that the child wrote (with assistance of course) but still got me feeling like im setting Jahlil up for failure.
So im going to try, no no make it my business to make sure that Jahlil will know this information before his 3rd birthday in august.
Which means for me , not so much time on the computer, and not using TV as a babysitter, when im in one of my moods.
Jahlil does attend school but because of my work hrs, he attends from 2- 12 and basically after lunch 1230 (in my opinion) there isn't a lot of learning going on... around that time its more free play, outside play, and movies after 6 for the kids like Jahlil who parents dont work traditional hours.
I just want my son to have all the opportunities he can, i dont want him to be a slouch, or a loser, i want him to be love education and everything that it can bring him.
Sooo with that being said i gonna to cut the TV off and do things with my son, be it making a game of rolling socks, to arts and crafts projects, to learning his numbers, colors, letters, full name, address, blood type, social...you get the point. i want my child to know as much as his small but absorbent brain will absorb. That means i myself have to get off the computer, turn off the tv, leaving the addiction which is facebook alone, and focus on my most precious possession Jahlil Markese Stephens.
Again this will be a struggle to break out of my old habits, but this will reference back to the first, becasue if we're not sitting in front of the TV eating processed junk, we can do more active and empowering things to strengthen our bodies and minds...
Peace and Love
Toye'
P.s. more parenting rants to come, my train of thought was interrupted by a random market trip, and such.
Maybe i'll talk about my desire to lose weight and "tone" up. I mean come on.........
My stomach was so damn big when i was carrying my son, but i mean after a month or two i went back to normal.
So why now when my son is working on 3 years being on this planet...is my gut so damn large....
YUCK YUCK YUCK
I'm just not into being a member of the the jiggly belly committee.
I believe my bloated midsection came from working at Nut-ass PNH. because really all i did there was Eat at work 24/7..its not a lot of work to be done
and unless you want to sit down and watch BET all damn day, why your coworkers attempt to have lackluster conversations with you, you walk to the vending machine, and the corner store, and you order out.
The blame is is mine for lacking self control.
So now im going to try to balance out my diet and only eat for nourishment and not just for bored, food lust, or as a social sport. The things that i will eat will also change, hoping to switch in my healthy/grown foods instead of processed junk i've been devouring like its going out of style.
So that is my mid-years resolution: to be more cautious of what i eat, while also increasing activity levels.
Wish me luck
Next Subject: my parenting skills or lack thereof
I love my son, i truly do, but i feel like im not doing him any favors by the inconsistent way that i'm raising him. I'm not talking about no" freaky Friday far-out shit", just the day to do occurrences and my reactions to them.
a FB friend was talking about all the awesome things her 3yr old daughter can do, and im jealous. like she said She knows her full name, her parents name, her phone number...yada yada bull shit. and then she posted a letter that the child wrote (with assistance of course) but still got me feeling like im setting Jahlil up for failure.
So im going to try, no no make it my business to make sure that Jahlil will know this information before his 3rd birthday in august.
Which means for me , not so much time on the computer, and not using TV as a babysitter, when im in one of my moods.
Jahlil does attend school but because of my work hrs, he attends from 2- 12 and basically after lunch 1230 (in my opinion) there isn't a lot of learning going on... around that time its more free play, outside play, and movies after 6 for the kids like Jahlil who parents dont work traditional hours.
I just want my son to have all the opportunities he can, i dont want him to be a slouch, or a loser, i want him to be love education and everything that it can bring him.
Sooo with that being said i gonna to cut the TV off and do things with my son, be it making a game of rolling socks, to arts and crafts projects, to learning his numbers, colors, letters, full name, address, blood type, social...you get the point. i want my child to know as much as his small but absorbent brain will absorb. That means i myself have to get off the computer, turn off the tv, leaving the addiction which is facebook alone, and focus on my most precious possession Jahlil Markese Stephens.
Again this will be a struggle to break out of my old habits, but this will reference back to the first, becasue if we're not sitting in front of the TV eating processed junk, we can do more active and empowering things to strengthen our bodies and minds...
Peace and Love
Toye'
P.s. more parenting rants to come, my train of thought was interrupted by a random market trip, and such.
Friday, June 11, 2010
WOOOOHOOOOOO!!!!!!
I got the call today, I got the job in doylestown super excited. until i realize im going to have to have a crazy plan, of how this is going to work. Im thinking of just getting a car and "ridin dirty".... this really just seems like my best option....not alot to say today, except i had an excellent day with my Jahlil.....loved (almost) every minute
Peace and Love
toye
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Rock and a hard place
My interview went great on Tuesday but cant be that great still didn't get a call back for a second interview. Whomp Whomp Whomp.
Now lets talk about my interview at the Doylestown luxury nursing home. First and foremost Doylestown is WAY farther then i thought it would be especially on public transportation. I got on the bus at 915am, i didn't arrive down the street from the place til about 1035 am. Oooo I saw my Uncle Rasheed at broad n olney, talked with him for a bit, he's the one who actually informed me how far Doylestown was on public transportation....(Sidebar glad to see him doing good and bouncing back). After finally arriving at the place and interviewing, i would absolutely love to work there, its just wonderful, its nice, clean, positive, and not to be joeing them up moving forward in long term care. Whats the but? My shift, they want me to work second shift 3-11, I'm fine with that. Septa is NOT!!!!!! the last 55 bus leaves at 1035, and the last R5 train leaves @ 1052 i don't get off til 11:00. That's not going to work at all. i was thinking of just catching a taxi or hack home, but doylestown is super far ie super expensive.What to do, What to do. I'm also not in a position to turn down a job, especially not one as awesome as this one. I'm thinking of asking if there happens to be a third shift opening, which would only further kill myself, cuz i would never sleep, Jahlil would be at school while i worked, and would then be wide awake after i go to pick him up. i can always go to sleep and ignore him, but that's really bad parenting. my support system is torn to shreds.... My sons dad is a deadbeat, and my lil brother is facing the consequences of his actions. My mother doesn't really play an active part in my life, and my other 4 brothers only contact me when they need a favor. A car maybe the most practical solution, except i still don't have my license and with my funds decreasing...i cant afford to pay for driving lessons. I also dont have the money to actually buy a car unless i want to not pay my rent and other pertinent bills.......
Stuck between a rock and a hard place
Peace and Love
Toye
Relief, and revelations
So a lot of things have happened this morning. I finally, finally, finally, asked Alex to leave out my house! I just feel so much better. Enough Said!!!!!!
I went on an interview yesterday, and i think it went great. He said they'll be doing call backs for second interviews, so guess i need to wait and see.
I do have an interview tomorrow for another nursing home job,I hope it goes well and i get it, even though its all the way in Doylestown, which means I'll be a traveling fool.
Its also second shift so I'll have to leave early, and get back late...Ugh.
You have to do what you have to do!!!!
What i really need to get my license when the test comes up in July, and then get a car. A car would make things so much easier for me.
Small steps to achieve my goals.
I just feel so good after doing what needed to be done, but i know there is way more work to be done, and it'll be a long hard fight to get what i want but I'm prepared.
Taking steps to achieve my goals
Peace and Love
Toye
I went on an interview yesterday, and i think it went great. He said they'll be doing call backs for second interviews, so guess i need to wait and see.
I do have an interview tomorrow for another nursing home job,I hope it goes well and i get it, even though its all the way in Doylestown, which means I'll be a traveling fool.
Its also second shift so I'll have to leave early, and get back late...Ugh.
You have to do what you have to do!!!!
What i really need to get my license when the test comes up in July, and then get a car. A car would make things so much easier for me.
Small steps to achieve my goals.
I just feel so good after doing what needed to be done, but i know there is way more work to be done, and it'll be a long hard fight to get what i want but I'm prepared.
Taking steps to achieve my goals
Peace and Love
Toye
Monday, June 7, 2010
Opening Act
OK so I've decided to write a blog, not really sure exactly what the focus is. Its more like the smorgasbord that is my life, open for everybody to read, comment, judge..whatever.
For those who don't know I'll just give a brief rundown of who I am, and how i came to be this way.
I'm a 21 year old single mother of a lovely little boy named Jahlil. He's almost three....SO for those of you math wizards, i had Jahlil when i was 18 years old a couple months after high school graduation...........Feel free to judge..........now stop. So my life is a bit unconventional, but in a good way. I'm enrolled in college but not exactly sure for what. i just know i wont be shit without an education, I'm leaning towards nursing, after learning that social work type jobs (Sadly) aren't work the paper their printed on. I mean yeah social workers are important and all but they aren't justly compensated for what they do. Nurses on the other hand are. Yes there is more to life than money, but i never really had money, and i don't want to be Warren Buffet rich, i just want to live comfortably in a nice neighborhood, with a nice car, with a respectable school district.
That's all!
So i have to do what i have to do to accomplish these goals.
As i write these words i realize I'm currently unemployed, so to recap, I'm an unwed, unemployed African American young Mom.. did somebody say STEREOTYPE!
But this unemployment wont last for long. I have an interview tomorrow, and I'm hoping to get the job, which i probably will, because believe it or not, I know how to turn on the charm.Every job that I've interviewed for I've gotten..so there..
Uh mm... this post seems to be getting pretty wordy, so I'll call it quits for today, and check back tomorrow after i get the job SERIOUSLY.
Peace and Love
Toye
For those who don't know I'll just give a brief rundown of who I am, and how i came to be this way.
I'm a 21 year old single mother of a lovely little boy named Jahlil. He's almost three....SO for those of you math wizards, i had Jahlil when i was 18 years old a couple months after high school graduation...........Feel free to judge..........now stop. So my life is a bit unconventional, but in a good way. I'm enrolled in college but not exactly sure for what. i just know i wont be shit without an education, I'm leaning towards nursing, after learning that social work type jobs (Sadly) aren't work the paper their printed on. I mean yeah social workers are important and all but they aren't justly compensated for what they do. Nurses on the other hand are. Yes there is more to life than money, but i never really had money, and i don't want to be Warren Buffet rich, i just want to live comfortably in a nice neighborhood, with a nice car, with a respectable school district.
That's all!
So i have to do what i have to do to accomplish these goals.
As i write these words i realize I'm currently unemployed, so to recap, I'm an unwed, unemployed African American young Mom.. did somebody say STEREOTYPE!
But this unemployment wont last for long. I have an interview tomorrow, and I'm hoping to get the job, which i probably will, because believe it or not, I know how to turn on the charm.Every job that I've interviewed for I've gotten..so there..
Uh mm... this post seems to be getting pretty wordy, so I'll call it quits for today, and check back tomorrow after i get the job SERIOUSLY.
Peace and Love
Toye
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