I am sad, sad i am.

   
       So as of late i've been called, sad, withdrawn, uninterested and fake depressed. For good reason to might i add. My life sucks.
 This has really just been a horrible year for me across the board, like i've lost my job, lost my apartment, lost my independence, lost my friends, lost all respect for myself, i've just lost that " spark" that i used to have. This has really been trying time in my life. While i've struggled before, i've never fallen this low, and i hate it because it's really my own fault, that things are happening the way that there happening.  To make matters worse, i feel completely alone in this world ( albeit i have my son but come on he's 5. He's there but not really) So i'm alone in my thoughts and emotions in one of the most troubling, trying, and emotionally draining times in my young life... recipe for disaster.
People call me, i dont answer, or fail to call back. It's like i dont want to talk to you, and hear about what going on in your life when my own life is complete and utter chaos. Sorry but i really dont give a fuck about your petty issues, nor do i care to hear your complaints. But of course when you say these things to people your being, rude, mean, and insensitive, but again i dont give a fuck.
I'm just finding that i'm sad all the time, and i actually like to be sad all the time. All i really want to do is drink alcohol by myself, eating some form of greasy takeout, watch netflix, and wallow in my emotions. Yet people keep calling, keep texting, keep inviting me out. I dont want to go.I know that eventually i'll have to get up get back on that horse and get my life together, but not now. I'm not done being sad, so bah humbug and leave me alone until i contact you....